Sunday, December 11, 2005

Blame Canada

I felt that this post needed to happen.

I have had considerable feelings against Canadians (and Americans who would represent themselves as such) recently, and I felt the need to make everything clear.

Apart from the governing class in Canada (a story about which, as related to me be regular COTL reader Greg, will be discussed in turn), I felt the need to compile the...

List Of Canadians Will Shannon Does Not Hate

Gordon Lightfoot
Stephan Jackson and his dad, Gord.
Dr. David Mc Donald, Ph.D.
David Clayton Thomas
Kids in the Hall (Scott Thompson, David Foley, Mark McKinney, Bruce McCullough and Kevin
McDonald)
John Candy
Eugene Levy
Dave Thomas
Joe Flaherty
Rick Moranis
Catherine O'Hara
Harold Ramis
Dan Ackroyd
Andrea Mitchell
Billy Bishop
The Band
Neil Young

See. just admit that you are a Canuck and we will be fine.

As for you Yankee Doodles who claim otherwise, I have one message. There are two crimes specifically mentioned in the Constitution of the United States: treason and counterfeiting.

The punishment for both is hanging.

I am not kidding.

4 comments:

Matthew Jenks said...

Is this at all precipitated by last night's episode of the Simpsons where Lisa had a Canadian flag stitched onto her backpack whilst visiting Italy?

If so, I feel your post today (er, yesterday) is the blogger's equivalent of Homer's grabbing the flag and shoving it in the Italians' collective eye.

Good job, Homie...er...Will.

If you didn't see this episode...uh...disregard EVERYTHING.

Will Shannon said...

That Simpsons episode was the tip of the iceberg. I have been enduring talk on the part of many of my compatriots here at UW about how Canada is Caanan.

I am quite tired of this liberal love-fest with Canada. Maybe we need to start pointing out the bad things about Canada. Like the problems with socialized medicine. Or the fact that the shitty Guinness that we get here is brewed in Canada.

If I go abroad, no matter where, I AM AN AMERICAN! To say otherwise should qualify you for deportation and hanging.

Amen.

Aaron Cynic said...

While I don't really share you're hatred for Canadia, I will say that as far as their government police actions go, they're on par with our fine police state here. Those canuks can be just as creepy.

But I do like the idea of free health care.

Matthew Puff Daddy Jenks said...

I guess being farther away from Canada has kept the liberal-minded folk down in these parts from talking about the Utopian society to the north.

Like Sean Hannity (I think he spells it that way), I'm waiting for the mass-exodus from the "blue states" to Canada that was promised if Bush won in 2004. Still haven't seen it.

But, if you think talk of Canada is bad, try listening to the Belgians talk about their perfect society. It's probably just as bad as what you describe at UW. Fortunately, I've been Belgian-free (aside from the beer...and those folks can brew some fine beers, let me tell you...no wonder Germany tried to take over. Twice.) for nearly a year now. However, it did make me a bit wary of working with a bunch of French folk. However, it seems to me that the French are (surprisingly) much more down-to-earth than the Belgians. They'll at least admit to liking capitalism while they sit and play the stock market.

That's neither here nor there. Silly Canadians and their ill-gotten, no GMP-based manufacturing of sugar pills...er..."generic pharmaceuticals."

Incidentally, one of the plus side effects of working for a company run by several French individuals is that "Socialism" trickledown, where they take a large portion of the costs of health benefits and swallow them to keep the people happy. Vive les benefits du health!