Friday, June 22, 2007

I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide (Well, Not Really)

The three above maps, inspired by M. Gordon Jenks, represent some of my travels and exploits in this great land of ours.

When I put this information in map form, what surprised me the most was how parochial I really am. I don't get out as much as I should. Perhaps my utter hatred of driving has something to do with this (if it is longer than three hours, I'm flying).

I could get into a long discussion about "silences" in maps and how the color scheme impacts how we "see" cartographically, I won't. It's summer and I'm trying to keep the nerd shit to a minimum (a promise that I have no intention of keeping).
The Maps Explained
  1. The first map is a map of the states that I have visited. The states in teal represent states that I have lived in. The states in hunter green represent states that I have visited; I defined this by a state where I spent the night or at least a period of twenty-four continuous hours. The states in light green represent states that I have been to, but cannot really say that I saw much of. In the cases of North Carolina and New Jersey, I changed planes in airports there (Charlotte and Newark, respectively). In the cases of Nebraska and West Virginia, I merely drove through them.
  2. The second map is a "beer map," showing states who's fermented malt products I have enjoyed (though not necessarily in the state of their origin).
  3. The third map is a map of the states where I, shall we say, have gotten "deep in my cups."

Further Afield

I have also visited three foreign countries:

  1. The Bahamas.
  2. France.
  3. United Kingdom (England, to be precise).

Of those I have had beer and gotten mullocked in two of them (France and the UK).


  1. Jenks beats me on states visited and beers-from-states; I beat him in "pie-eyed" states.
  2. I drink more than I travel.
  3. I already knew that I have too much time on my hands; this is bordering on certifiable. Luckily the state mental hospital is a short bus ride away.

Postscript: Extra Special Super Bonus Happy List

Before the bus to the booby hatch gets here, I figured I would extend the "fully krausened" list to a more local level; I also wanted a category where I might just blow everyone away. So I give you...

Chicago Suburbs and Neighborhoods Where I Have Been Overserved

  • Chicago -This includes the neighborhoods/areas of the Loop, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Wrigleyville, Lakeview, Rush/Division, Rogers Park, Lincoln Square, Ravenswood, Logan Square, Humboldt Park, Bridgeview, Pilsen, Beverly, Mt. Greenwood, Morgan Park, Wicker Park.
  • Oak Lawn
  • Oak Forest
  • Tinley Park
  • Orland Park
  • Bridgeview
  • Calumet City
  • Steger
  • Midlothian
  • Crestwood
  • Shorewood
  • Joliet
  • Mokena
  • Schaumburg
  • New Lenox
  • Barrington
  • Markham
  • Harvey
  • Lansing
  • Evergreen Park
  • Lemont
  • Calumet Park
  • Blue Island
  • Palatine
  • Wheaton
  • Homewood
  • Chicago Heights
  • Park Forest
  • Itasca
  • Alsip
  • Hinsdale
  • Burr Ridge
  • Hammond (IN)
  • Highland (IN)

So take that, good judgement, common sense and concern for general digestive and mental health.

Friends don't let friends drink and map.


Matt Jenks said...

I could see this spiraling out of control quickly. Like, counties in Indiana I've visited, counties I've pissed in, places in North Carolina where I've had a burger...etc.

That being said, I'm hoping my beer map goes up by two in the near future. I know it will raise by one in the near future.

Lost A Sock said...

This was the best entry ever. Well, from an entertaining perspective anyway. It cracks me up that you've counted these places.