Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Thanks, That's Just What I Didn't Need

As I am within a month of my thirtieth birthday, I am beginning to reflect on what this milestone means to me...the results of said contemplation will be presented in this space as the date (September 9) draws nearer.

In these intervening weeks, and coupled with my contemplation, a piece of mail that I got yesterday gave me some pause.

Was it one of those inane "Over The Hill" cards from a "friend?" No.

It was an invitation to join AARP.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Well, I guess I laughed more than anything...seeing as it will be another twenty years before I can join the organization that assures that all people over fifty get deep discounts on hotels and a soul-crushingly boring magazine (it makes airline magazines seem like Playboy).

I am pretty sure that this was a case of sales of mailing lists being sold, and who knows has access to your address anymore. I guess I must do/buy/read something that a lot of more "mature" people do/buy/read.

Nevertheless, it did give me pause. I guess I am getting older, and though I am not fifty yet, I have had the personality of an old man for most of my adult life, so I've got that down.

I also have down the constant complaining, the tendency towards cheapness, the varicose veins, the salty attitude toward most children and my predeliction for "old man bars."

I guess if you consider these stereotypes of old men to be true and that age is a relative thing, I, in many ways, have been an old man for some time now.

Now, if those damned kids would turn that music and let me watch Andy Rooney in peace...


Lost A Sock said...

You crack me up. The AARP?! Really?

Somehow just after I gave birth to our second child, a fitness/body building magazine began showing up in our mailbox on a monthly basis. At first I was quite irritated, but after while it gave me great pleasure to walk it from the mailbox straight to the recycling bin. How's that for a day's worth of exercise?

I hate mailing lists. (Unless they send free stuff.)

Aaron Cynic said...

My dad's been getting AARP since he was like 40. It is pretty droll.

I think cranky oldmanishness is fine, as long as you're willing to give into your impulses now and again. At that point, you might be crabby - but you've still got some youth in you haha.

Kate and I moved in with two kids that are, well, kids. They're 22 and 23 I think. I was talking to one of them and mentioned that I started college in 1997 and she responded "I was in middle school then."

It might be a bit of a weird situation, but at least we'll be kept up to date on the latest trends.

Getting older not only means discounts on stuff but also learning to laugh harder at yourself.

Anonymous said...

I think you should join, claim to be fifty and then when people don't believe you (when you get discounts and the like) pull out the AARP card and "prove" to them that you are. People will say "he looks so young."