Thursday, February 09, 2006

Man Is A Political (Party) Animal

When I was trying to decide what to do to cover the SOTU a while back, I weighed my options. I have no net access at home and I have a laptop computer that can be called "portable" in a loose, somewhat quaint sense. I could have sat here in the computer lab, watched a webcast and blogged real time. That, alas, was also not an option. As liberal as UW-Madison is with the liquor laws, I think a cooler in a computer lab would have been a bit much.

So, we are going low-tech to high(er) tech. Reproduced below for you, transcribed lovingly from the Blatz-soaked originals, is my "notebook" from the SOTU. I must warn you that I write fast and bad and, naturally, alcohol intensifies my already sub-par penmanship. First, a few facts...

Network of Choice - CBS. Why CBS? I also don't have cable and CBS was the least blurry.
Drink(s) of Choice - Blatz with "Sno-Shoe" Shots. Sno-Shoe is, for the uninitated (read:lucky), a 90-proof mix of brandy and peppermint schnapps.
Recording Equipment - OfficeMax legal pad, yellow, letter size and a pen. The barrel of the pen read "Grand Geneva Resort and Spa - Lake Geneva, WI." Yes, you needed to know that.

Without further ado, the notebook for the 2006 SOTU. Bracketed text was added for clarification after the fact.
  • Cindy Sheehan already got arrested. Decided to get it out of the way early.
  • "Pivotal speech?" I think not.
  • "Renewed civility?" No matter how many times, it's still funny.
  • Alito looks like my JR high math teacher.
  • No civility with the midterm elections...What difference between GOP/DEM, [CBS News correspondent John] Roberts???
  • Frist behind the prez. OOOOOHHHH...
  • O.K., isolationism is bad.
  • 122 democracies? Like Singapore?
  • Fight for OUR freedom? O.K., but let others fight for theirs.
  • Man, lotsa history talk, GWB.
  • Sassy wink at dead Marine's family?
  • Egypt, Hamas and Israel - never in a million fucking years.
  • Liberty, the right of all humanity. O.K., natural law.
  • ISOLATION IS THE WORD APPARENTLY.
  • PATRIOT ACT - OH GOD NO!!! So, you don't really buy the whole liberty thing after all?
  • "appropriate members of Congress" decide on wiretaps? FREEDOM/SECURITY...Hilary looks pissed.
  • Econ policy lip service. I agree, but I don't think you really believe it. Isolation is indeed bad.
  • How 'bout 100% tax cuts?
  • Cut the deficit? Not with that defense budget you won't.
  • Nice Clinton joke.
  • HALF-CROWD APPLAUSE...they threw him off!
  • Baby boom commission. O.K. FOR NOW. Why I am against government funded health care.
  • Ouproduce America? NO? Why? UNIONS!
  • Of course Frist likes medical liability reform.
  • We are developing the tube technology.
  • Ethanol? 6 years? Right...
  • Depend on for. oil past? What of global trade?
  • MATH AND SCIENCE EDUCATION A PRIORITY? WHATTHEFUCK?? JUST PUT ME OUT OF A JOB, WHYDON'CHA.
  • Granted, humanities jobs are NOT high wage.
  • Health of culture, activists courts + marriage, nat. disaster- what a catch-all. Decline? Maybe not
  • Alito and Roberts in one sentence with half a cheer - oh fuck [playing the drinking game as I was, such a response was worth quite a lot].
  • If life begts life, how are stem cells wrong? Seems logical enough
  • No new AIDS infections? Oh, boy...
  • History comes down to choice? How 'bout the choice to blunder?

Insightful? Maybe. Confusing? Sure. Coherent? Not really. In the moment? You bet.

2 comments:

Matthew Jenks said...

The barrel of the pen read "Grand Geneva Resort and Spa - Lake Geneva, WI." Yes, you needed to know that

Is that the same pen (or one of its cousins) that you've had a box of since your sophomore year of college? Just curious.

And, I knew bad things would happen when I taunted Bucky. But, hey, I figured Indiana HAD to be better than North Dakota St, right? Right?

Anne Giblin said...

Alas, Will, I was unable to make it...but at least you still have a working TV. We all know I would have thrown something heavy at it...like the encyclopedia of Chicago History....