So, we are going low-tech to high(er) tech. Reproduced below for you, transcribed lovingly from the Blatz-soaked originals, is my "notebook" from the SOTU. I must warn you that I write fast and bad and, naturally, alcohol intensifies my already sub-par penmanship. First, a few facts...
Network of Choice - CBS. Why CBS? I also don't have cable and CBS was the least blurry.
Drink(s) of Choice - Blatz with "Sno-Shoe" Shots. Sno-Shoe is, for the uninitated (read:lucky), a 90-proof mix of brandy and peppermint schnapps.
Recording Equipment - OfficeMax legal pad, yellow, letter size and a pen. The barrel of the pen read "Grand Geneva Resort and Spa - Lake Geneva, WI." Yes, you needed to know that.
Without further ado, the notebook for the 2006 SOTU. Bracketed text was added for clarification after the fact.
- Cindy Sheehan already got arrested. Decided to get it out of the way early.
- "Pivotal speech?" I think not.
- "Renewed civility?" No matter how many times, it's still funny.
- Alito looks like my JR high math teacher.
- No civility with the midterm elections...What difference between GOP/DEM, [CBS News correspondent John] Roberts???
- Frist behind the prez. OOOOOHHHH...
- O.K., isolationism is bad.
- 122 democracies? Like Singapore?
- Fight for OUR freedom? O.K., but let others fight for theirs.
- Man, lotsa history talk, GWB.
- Sassy wink at dead Marine's family?
- Egypt, Hamas and Israel - never in a million fucking years.
- Liberty, the right of all humanity. O.K., natural law.
- ISOLATION IS THE WORD APPARENTLY.
- PATRIOT ACT - OH GOD NO!!! So, you don't really buy the whole liberty thing after all?
- "appropriate members of Congress" decide on wiretaps? FREEDOM/SECURITY...Hilary looks pissed.
- Econ policy lip service. I agree, but I don't think you really believe it. Isolation is indeed bad.
- How 'bout 100% tax cuts?
- Cut the deficit? Not with that defense budget you won't.
- Nice Clinton joke.
- HALF-CROWD APPLAUSE...they threw him off!
- Baby boom commission. O.K. FOR NOW. Why I am against government funded health care.
- Ouproduce America? NO? Why? UNIONS!
- Of course Frist likes medical liability reform.
- We are developing the tube technology.
- Ethanol? 6 years? Right...
- Depend on for. oil past? What of global trade?
- MATH AND SCIENCE EDUCATION A PRIORITY? WHATTHEFUCK?? JUST PUT ME OUT OF A JOB, WHYDON'CHA.
- Granted, humanities jobs are NOT high wage.
- Health of culture, activists courts + marriage, nat. disaster- what a catch-all. Decline? Maybe not
- Alito and Roberts in one sentence with half a cheer - oh fuck [playing the drinking game as I was, such a response was worth quite a lot].
- If life begts life, how are stem cells wrong? Seems logical enough
- No new AIDS infections? Oh, boy...
- History comes down to choice? How 'bout the choice to blunder?
Insightful? Maybe. Confusing? Sure. Coherent? Not really. In the moment? You bet.