Thursday, February 09, 2006

Man Is A Political (Party) Animal

When I was trying to decide what to do to cover the SOTU a while back, I weighed my options. I have no net access at home and I have a laptop computer that can be called "portable" in a loose, somewhat quaint sense. I could have sat here in the computer lab, watched a webcast and blogged real time. That, alas, was also not an option. As liberal as UW-Madison is with the liquor laws, I think a cooler in a computer lab would have been a bit much.

So, we are going low-tech to high(er) tech. Reproduced below for you, transcribed lovingly from the Blatz-soaked originals, is my "notebook" from the SOTU. I must warn you that I write fast and bad and, naturally, alcohol intensifies my already sub-par penmanship. First, a few facts...

Network of Choice - CBS. Why CBS? I also don't have cable and CBS was the least blurry.
Drink(s) of Choice - Blatz with "Sno-Shoe" Shots. Sno-Shoe is, for the uninitated (read:lucky), a 90-proof mix of brandy and peppermint schnapps.
Recording Equipment - OfficeMax legal pad, yellow, letter size and a pen. The barrel of the pen read "Grand Geneva Resort and Spa - Lake Geneva, WI." Yes, you needed to know that.

Without further ado, the notebook for the 2006 SOTU. Bracketed text was added for clarification after the fact.
  • Cindy Sheehan already got arrested. Decided to get it out of the way early.
  • "Pivotal speech?" I think not.
  • "Renewed civility?" No matter how many times, it's still funny.
  • Alito looks like my JR high math teacher.
  • No civility with the midterm elections...What difference between GOP/DEM, [CBS News correspondent John] Roberts???
  • Frist behind the prez. OOOOOHHHH...
  • O.K., isolationism is bad.
  • 122 democracies? Like Singapore?
  • Fight for OUR freedom? O.K., but let others fight for theirs.
  • Man, lotsa history talk, GWB.
  • Sassy wink at dead Marine's family?
  • Egypt, Hamas and Israel - never in a million fucking years.
  • Liberty, the right of all humanity. O.K., natural law.
  • PATRIOT ACT - OH GOD NO!!! So, you don't really buy the whole liberty thing after all?
  • "appropriate members of Congress" decide on wiretaps? FREEDOM/SECURITY...Hilary looks pissed.
  • Econ policy lip service. I agree, but I don't think you really believe it. Isolation is indeed bad.
  • How 'bout 100% tax cuts?
  • Cut the deficit? Not with that defense budget you won't.
  • Nice Clinton joke.
  • HALF-CROWD APPLAUSE...they threw him off!
  • Baby boom commission. O.K. FOR NOW. Why I am against government funded health care.
  • Ouproduce America? NO? Why? UNIONS!
  • Of course Frist likes medical liability reform.
  • We are developing the tube technology.
  • Ethanol? 6 years? Right...
  • Depend on for. oil past? What of global trade?
  • Granted, humanities jobs are NOT high wage.
  • Health of culture, activists courts + marriage, nat. disaster- what a catch-all. Decline? Maybe not
  • Alito and Roberts in one sentence with half a cheer - oh fuck [playing the drinking game as I was, such a response was worth quite a lot].
  • If life begts life, how are stem cells wrong? Seems logical enough
  • No new AIDS infections? Oh, boy...
  • History comes down to choice? How 'bout the choice to blunder?

Insightful? Maybe. Confusing? Sure. Coherent? Not really. In the moment? You bet.


Matthew Jenks said...

The barrel of the pen read "Grand Geneva Resort and Spa - Lake Geneva, WI." Yes, you needed to know that

Is that the same pen (or one of its cousins) that you've had a box of since your sophomore year of college? Just curious.

And, I knew bad things would happen when I taunted Bucky. But, hey, I figured Indiana HAD to be better than North Dakota St, right? Right?

Anne Giblin said...

Alas, Will, I was unable to make it...but at least you still have a working TV. We all know I would have thrown something heavy at the encyclopedia of Chicago History....