Monday, January 10, 2005

Drinking Alone With Your Family

Family can be a wonderful thing. As I am just starting this odyssey into blogging, I should perhaps tell you that I love the booze. Everyone needs a hobby: booze happens to be mine.

Back to the story, this Saturday my uncle calls me out of the blue and asks if I would take a box of booze off of his hands. I think I was in the car before he realized I dropped the phone in the sink. I make the short journey (filled with anticipation) across town to his house. What greets me there is, to quote The Band, "a drunkard's dream if I ever did see one."

There was a packing crate with no less than FIFTEEN bottles of hard liquor, most of which was whiskey (which I LOVE)! Four bottles of V.O., two bottles of Canadian Club, two bottles of Jack Daniels, two bottles of scotch (Cutty and Dewar's) and the list goes on...

I stopped on the way home to get mixers. I then stole back to my house with my booty cautiously guarded.

The thought briefly crossed my mind to call my friends and do it up with this box o' sunshine. Then it hit me. What is wrong with being a little selfish (or a lot selfish)? I would share later; it was my time now.

There are serious societal taboos against drinking alone, the therapy Nazis telling you that this is the sure sign of alcoholism and a promising sign of general mental dementia and decline. I couldn't disagree more. In this world where much of our destinies are out of our control, there is nothing more empowering than to host a party and invite only yourself.

Think of it. Don't want to watch that reality show/cable news channel/stupid crap on Comedy Central? No problem! Want to listen to bagpipe music and drink naked? Let it fly! It is completely your call. Go out, stock up, order some food and get down with your bad self and only your bad self.

(By the way, those wonderful geniuses at Modern Drunkard Magazine had an article about this very topic. There is another related article on the "lost art of the bender." Read and learn)

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