Live Blog? D.O.A., I'm Afraid.

I know, I know, I know.

I know what I said I would do. There is no need to remind me (why do people feel the need to do this, anyway)?

Yes, folks, there was no live blogging here on election night. Allow me to explain...

My reasons are twofold: practical/logistical and, well, something less practical or logistical.

Practical and logistical problems first. I shuttled between two locales on election night and was caught up in the public transit system for about a half an hour. This half an hour was at a crucial juncture in the evening, when the returns were coming in and (as it turns out) the election was being decided. I also, through no fault of my gracious hosts, didn't have access to the requisite technology to make it happen.

Other problems second. The unfolding of events on election night were, how shall I put this, rather dull. The whole thing was over and done with by around 9:30PM CST. The winner was declared, the victory seemed pretty decisive and (no surprise here) the talking heads kept on talking.

So, Will, how DID you spend the rest of the evening. Here are some sketches:

• Red AND blue Jell-o shots.
• Waiting for either Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann to openly weep on air.
• Listening to a fatter guy than myself (oh, they exist) ramble on about bingo, how cheap his fried chicken dinner was, the bus ride to bingo and how everyone from Texas is insane (I think).
• Waiting for anyone to openly weep on television and trying to place money on this proposition. For this, I was called an asshole.
• Missing Dan Rather and his penchant for, well, made-up idioms. I had to settle for Paul Begala saying "lights out, Cub Scout."
• Hamm's, The Beer Born In The Land Of Sky-Blue Waters...and still represented by Norm Coleman, apparently.
• Cheering when people DID openly weep on television. For this, I was called a heartless asshole.
• Conjecturing that the Dow would drop at least 400 points the next day. I was pretty damned close.
• Evan Williams Bourbon, It's What Clint Eastwood's Sweat Probably Tastes Like.
• Listening to two of the finest political speeches that I have heard in some time. John McCain - why didn't you talk like this the whole time? It was the reason people (including myself) liked you at some point.
• Having that feeling that I was all dressed up and had nowhere to go. In other words, I was blue-balled by the news media. Thanks for that, dickweeds.

Well, I did enjoy my evening immensely. For political hacks like myself, it is like four Super Bowls rolled into one.

What reflection on this presidential election that I will do will be short and will be soon so that we may move onto other topics including economics, Studs Terkel, Russia, UW Badgers Football (or lack thereof and others.

I leave you with a thought to ponder and a piece of advice for all of those candidates who won on Tuesday:

The state is not the society.